I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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