im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
