True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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