"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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