This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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