JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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