Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize