i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
