I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
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