there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So much Jack, so little girl.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
