Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
