My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize