my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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