so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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