It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize