I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You pole danced in your parka.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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