Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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