I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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