If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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