i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
