Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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