my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
