She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
