I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
