pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
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I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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