Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
