Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
