A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
