were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
