24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
