He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
