Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize