the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize