So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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