You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
