Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
either way he was missing a nipple.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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