We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
