You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
