i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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