I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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