I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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