I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
