My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
