No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
