When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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