As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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