Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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