if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
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Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS