Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
