Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
