Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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