I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
