i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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