remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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