I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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