Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
only if we run a train.
done.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
