3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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