Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
