Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
