I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
