I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
