I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
