It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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