i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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