shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
