Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Pants are for mortals
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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