We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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