There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
